Flying

Flying and I have never really gone together harmoniously. I don't do it enough to make myself comfortable with it. I knew three days before this flight even took off that I was going to have problems on this plane. So much so that I called a doctor and had him prescribe me Xanax.

The day finally arrived without much convincing but when it came time to get to the airport things got a little shaky. It took my mom, dad, brother and boyfriend Bobby to get me on the plane but not without some tears.

My first real international flight (I wasn't counting my trip to Toronto), by myself. I was scared out of my wits end. Could anything else possibly go wrong? Not only did I miss everyone from home, I'm claustrophobic sitting in this window seat and I have these two weird people next to me. In my own personal opinion, there was literally no possible way things could get worse if they tried.

Over Memorial Day Weekend I realized I was severely claustrophobic. I tried to climb under my cousins deck to get a necklace that broke and almost lost it. That is because it was almost as if I could feel the patio closing over me and I wouldn't be able to get out. That is what scares me, not being there, it's the not being able to get out. The same feeling overcame me as I sat in the window seat waiting for my plane to take off. It was almost as if the cabin was closing in on me. I lost it, almost immediately I was in full on tears, making a scene on the plane. I didn't know what to do and the 8 year old boy sitting next to me is now looking at me like I'm some kind of psychopath because I'm crying on the plane.

I finally grabbed a hold of myself inside and realized that the only way I was making it to Paris was if I stuck it out through this flight. I couldn't get off or I wouldn't go. There isn't a way to teleport myself because if there was and I didn't have to deal with flying, please let me be the first to know. I looked out the window and started to calm myself down after talking on the phone to Bobby. I texted and took pictures until the flight took off in order to keep my mind elsewhere.

After the plane finally got in the air, I seemed to have calmed down a little. I did my best to fall asleep on the flight because I knew that I was going to have to be up the whole next day. Needless to say, it didn't work. I think I fell asleep for a grand total of an hour. Before I knew it, the little boy next to me had made himself comfortable in my lap. I don't know you, and you're going to lay in my lap? That is where I had to draw the line. I told his mother and the mother got mad at me like "how could you be mad that my child is laying on you?"

By the time the plane landed at 8:30 AM Paris time, I was about ready to kiss the floor of the airport I was so excited to be off that plane. I hadn't eaten since the Chickie and Pete's sandwich in the Philly Airport and I hadn't slept except for an hour since 7:30 AM EST. By the time that day was over, I was convinced that the rest of the girls on the trip weren't even going to want to be friends with me because I was so miserable.

Note to self: try to avoid flying when you can.